Announcing Vivienne!

It’s two and a half months later and I am only now introducing our daughter, Vivienne. It’s been a big change. I am¬†super glad that I have a crapload of maternity leave (thanks gigantic retailer!) because it would have been exponentially more difficult to get this whole parenting thing going if it had all fallen to Maria to take care of a newborn.

Needless to say, it’s been incredibly exciting. We’re still astonished that we were allowed to leave the hospital without so much as a competency test or at least a good grilling on basic parenting. Really? None of that? None of that.

So, as soon as Vivi was deemed healthy-enough-to-leave, we left. There were a lot of hijinx in the hospital. All I want to say about that is that I am very glad I did not tempt fate (see my previous post), as Vivi’s birth was quite harrowing. I am happy for hospitals and Western medicine.

So here’s Vivienne:

Vivi up close
Vivi up close

She is amazing and feisty, happy and cute as hell. I am cherishing every day, but the days keep going by incredibly fast. Perhaps it’s because my days and nights, sleeping and waking, are in 2 and 3 hour increments. But even though I want it to last, I can’t wait to see what Vivi does next, how she changes. Sometimes I just stare at her, trying to commit all of the little bits, actions and images of her to memory.

I think I love this parenting thing.

Vivi at 2.5 months. Note the hoodie!
Vivi at 2.5 months. Note the hoodie! It has ears.

Brave New World

So, we’ve had a good 9 months to get used to the idea of there being a new little being in our lives. But somehow, it’s still somewhat surreal. How did i get here? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like Maria and I hadn’t been deliberating over baby-or-no-baby for the last ten years, but since actually commencing…it’s weird.

The first 3 to 5 months we spent in secrecy — it’s never good to tempt fate — and with my age, I figured I’d better just keep my lips zipped. Add fibroids, spotting and whatever else came up with the multitude of testing, prodding, scanning, inserting, poking, etc. and I wasn’t about to make any happy announcements.

After I started to really show, I spent a good 2 months doing double takes in full-length mirrors and store windows, and making random, hushed proclamations, “Maria, I’m pregnant.” To which she would answer in astonishment, “Oh my god, I know!”

And in the last couple of months, I’ve just been reconciling myself with the limitations of a body gone absolutely nuts. Bend down? i don’t think so. Get up? Um, yeah, can you roll/push/pull me? Maria says she now understands why ladybugs are called ladybugs. I said it’s because they’re pretty. She says it’s because they have a hard time righting themselves if they’ve been flipped over. And that’s what I look like when I am attempting to get out of bed, out of a chair, up from the sofa, off the floor. Thanks, honey.

I’ve also been a complete freak about ingredients in every product and furnishing. On a recent cover of National Geographic, there’s a baby with the bold headline, “This baby will live to be 120.” Yeah, I’m going for that.

So here we are…it’s the Thursday before the Friday in which Alice’s insides are turned inside out to produce a new being, who Maria and I shall take care of (ummm, I guess forever) and who we shall name Vivienne. By this time tomorrow, we will hopefully be parents. In keeping with my character, of course, I am not about to tempt fate by making any happy proclamations until I have the evidence of a living, breathing, crying baby in my arms.

I’ll update and provide evidence soon.

Legume Allergies

So it still needs to be updated, but you can still go see the legume list page! Why do we need a list? Because those beans are hiding in everything.

If you think you have general stomach problems, ¬†adult acne or some unfixable skin issue, you might consider getting an allergy panel done to make sure it’s not something you’re eating. This is not the same as eating a chocolate bar and breaking out with a pimple. Food allergies are real allergies — as in, you get an autoimmune reaction.

Dermatologists won’t know. Your doctor won’t know. But if you cut out most processed foods for a week and keep away from certain categories of food, you might find you’re allergic to something. A few friends have done this and have found allergies to dairy, wheat, gluten, soy, etc.